So Christmas brings up flashbacks of old Christmas’s.
Christmas’s of the past.
Growing up wasnt the best of my years, yet Christmas wasn’t or will it ever be one of my favorite holidays.
Theres too much pressure on people during this holiday.
To much money being spent, too much stress of finding out who’s going where and when. Am I supposed to get them a gift if I never see them? What type of gift do they need?
I can totally live without Christmas.
I believe we all give throughout the year. So why make more stress for everyone?
Growing up Christmas was a fun thing, knowing Santa was going to bring presents. Yet as I got older the holiday turned into a chore. It was a day just like others but you got things from your mom that she thought you needed to keep you out of her hair. Like a bike. You can now leave the house for a few hours so she can do her thing, without you to bother her. You got a new stereo with headphones so you can lock yourself in your room, not bothering her.
One of my last Christmases with her, we went for a drive. We had opened our gifts two weeks early.
How did that come about you ask?
Setting up the picture of our home for you.
We had a two bedroom duplex. It was just her and I am an only child.
In the front room we had an oversized leather chair and couch a tv and a coffee table and an old antique wash station. ⬅ im not sure what it’s called. Anyway, on top of that antique thing we had a small porcelain christmas tree. It stood about 16″ inches high, and it had little lights attached to it. It plugged in and we had lights. Ok,ok ive said enough about the house.
Going back to the day we opened All of our gifts.
Kathy (my mom) one day before christmas, actually two weeks before Christmas she asked if I wanted to open one present? What 13 year kid doesn’t want to open a present? Well of course I did and that’s all she wrote. All the presents underneath the porcelain tree had been opened. So come christmas day, while everyone was home opening presents spending time with family. Kathy and i were at home doing the same shit we always did.
Then going to Sam and Yolandas with their two kids. Joshua and Jennifer. That was another treat for me. A treat like going to the dentist.. My gifts from them consisted of maybe an ugly sweater or a pair of socks. With their christmas tree and the millions of presents underneath for their kids, I would get one.
You may be asking yourself, if you don’t like christmas why are you complaining about the amount of gifts you got? Well it’s because when you’re a child, like u was. Everything needs to be fair, right? If you have kids, your kids know who got more and who didn’t. I was that kid that didn’t.
Yet going through this as a child, I believe its made me a better person in general. Not about christmas day but, about others that go without.
I’m a very humble person. I’m a very caring person. Sometimes I care too much. Yet id rather care too much, than not care at all.
So now when Christmas comes around, I get stressed and get depressed. But these things come and go, just like that one day.
I try not to show im stressed or depressed to my family or others, yet I wear my feelings on my shoulders. If im stressed, everyone knows, if im unhappy, everyone knows. This is who I am. I am an only child.
I will overcome all obstacles in my life.
I am a survivor.
I am caring.
I am an only child
Merry christmas to you all.
Have a safe holiday!